My opinion on detransitioners is that if someone dyed their hair purple and then realized it wasn't the right color for them I'd help them buy the hair dye to change it back.

The only time it would be a problem is if they started blaming me for "making them want to dye it in the first place" just because I dye my hair.

It would be even more of a problem if they then started advocating for restricting people's access to hairdye just because they decided dyeing their hair wasn't the right thing for them.

I'm going to elaborate on this a little more directly because the other day I saw an article by the daily mail that made me feel a bit queasy.

It was an article about a woman who had thought she was a trans man, had gotten top surgery and gone on testosterone, and then realized that it wasn't actually making her happy and that she wasn't actually a trans man. Reading this I felt nothing but sympathy, as someone who has struggled with mental illness his whole life I know how hard it is when you think something is going to "fix you" and then it doesn't. She talks about how she saw trans people expressing joy after transitioning and she thought that it would do the same for her. I was a little uncomfortable with that line of thinking but the alarm bells weren't going off quite yet.

But then she goes on to say that she thinks she was given access to transition care far too easily and quickly. That her informed consent wasn't really informed. That's when I started getting really uncomfortable. She started talking about how she thinks it's too easy to transition and that a lot of people "don't really know what they're doing" when they transition. She then advocated for making it harder for people to transition. That's when I stopped reading the article.

There is a reason a lot of trans people are uncomfortable around detransitioned cis people, and it's because of people like the woman from this article. You can tell from the way she talks about the trans community to the way she talks about transition that she did not do her due diligence and is now refusing to take responsibility for that. She saw people talking about how transitioning made them happy and took it at face value. She thought it would be a magic fix that would cure her depression and when it didn't she felt betrayed, like she had been lied to. But she never understood why transitioning was making these people happy.

Based on her comments about informed consent it's obvious she also didn't bother researching the actual transition care that she was getting. That is the whole point of informed consent, you have to do the research yourself. I mean hell I feel like I know more about how testosterone affects the body than my general practitioner does because I've spent so much time researching it to make sure that's what I wanted. It's not the trans community's fault that she didn't educate herself, it isn't like the resources aren't available.

To me all of this is indicative of a larger issue. It isn't just about transition, it's about the way society as a whole treats mental health. Mental illnesses have been commodofied and healthy coping mechanisms have been abandoned. People think that watching tiktoks about depression are a stand in for therapy. Trauma is worn like a badge of honour and the mere idea of unpacking it is seen as ableist. People build communities around suffering and then act surprised when people get hurt. Nobody is expected to take responsibility for their own mental wellbeing anymore so nobody knows how to.

That woman transitioned because she thought it would magically get rid of her mental illnesses. She saw trans people finding relief after finally being able to live in a body they were comfortable in and misunderstood what was going on. She was viewing them through a lens of her own suffering because she didn't see the difference, she assumed her experiences were universal. When it didn't work out she decided that trans people must have been the issue and not her own ignorance.

It's the constant refusal to take responsibility for your own actions that really bothers me as both a trans person and a disabled person. Getting better takes work and you have to be ready to fuck up and feel bad sometimes. Getting to the root of your mental illnesses and doing something about them is hard and uncomfortable and exhausting but it's worth it. Quick fixes aren't real and there are no magical cures. Transitioning is a journey of self discovery, not just a medical treatment. We will keep seeing detransitioned people acting and thinking like the woman above unless we change the way people talk about and treat mental health.

And that's that on that.

Actually I'm not done. I want to be as explicit as I possibly can right now:

Trans people existing and being happy in their trans bodies isn't "making" anyone do anything. Us being ourselves isn't "pressuring" anyone. Trans people being nice to you on the internet have no control over what YOU do with YOUR body.

If you are mentally ill and find some comfort and solace in the trans community then I'm happy for you! I'm glad you found kindness! But if you have such a surface level understanding of us and our experiences that you think transitioning is a magical cure that suddenly gets rid of all of our mental illnesses over night, then sorry but that's on you. Transitioning makes many trans people feel better specifically because it treats their dysphoria. If your mental illnesses aren't related to gender dysphoria then yeah, transition isn't gonna fuckin help! You cannot blame trans people for your own ignorance. There are more than enough resources available for you to educate yourself, not just about trans people but about mental illness too. Trans people aren't responsible for educating you, even though many of us will if you ask!

I'm so tired of hearing story after story after story of someone who saw trans people being happy after transitioning, decided that surely transition would cure their depression, and then got pissed off at trans people when it didn't work. I mean every single story I have heard about detransitioners who were mad at the trans community and felt "pressured" to transition is like that. As a trans guy who has spent a decade of my life in pyshciatric care it frustrates me.

Trans joy is not dangerous.

reblog to kill god faster

quick before his health bar resets & he switches to his second attack pattern!

CHAIN LIGHTNING ATTACK BEFORE HIS SHIELD REGENERATES!!!

Hit him with the fireball!

People cannot afford to live!

I want the writer’s strike to last until they get everything they demand and more. I want the SAG strike to last until AI is entirely forbidden across the board in the entire industry. I want CGI artists to unionize and strike. I want animators to strike. I want composers and directors and designers and VAs and techies and producers and stage hands and game devs and programmers and recording artists to strike.

I want every aspect of the entertainment industry brought to a grinding halt for months or even years to take it from the corps and put it back in the hands of the artists.

I think the best most human thing in the world is strangers doing a silly thing together

Examples:

- guy at work "Yes, and -" ing the bit me and my coworker were doing where we pretended to be owners of a fantasy medieval tavern not minimum wage retail staff

- at the gay club when Die Young by Kesha came on and two hundred people, all dancing and drinking separately, jumped up and down to make the "- beat of the drums *STOMP STOMP*" as loud as possible

- person who watched me stomp round the beach singing a made up song about breakfast foods to name a cat after and suggested more breakfast foods that would be good cat names

- guy who started a dance off with everyone across the road while waiting for the lights to change

- very tiny girl at the pharmacy interviewing everyone in the queue and every single one of us in turn sat down and answered this toddler's questions like we were on Letterman

The three pillars of humanity, in no particular order, are Joy, Absurdity, and Sharing

also as a 22yr old who has been on tumblr basically daily for the last six years or so

i’m thinking it’s time to start weaning myself off of this goddamn shitstorm of a website

how’s that going bestie

Sometimes time stamps really do add to the joke

i don’t want to be rich i don’t want to be famous i don’t want a million tiktok followers or what the fuck ever i just want a one bedroom apartment in a walkable community with neighbors i could borrow sugar from or bring cookies to when i bake extra and a job that i enjoy and that helps someone and pays me enough to afford my silly little one bedroom and groceries and something fun too at the end of the day and enough free time to sing and dance and read and write and spend time with the people i love and maybe have a dog and some plants to water and a shelf of books to read and a thrift store where i can buy weird clothes and faded denim jackets like i am not asking for anything big or grand or exciting i just want peace i want contentment i want just a little love how the fuck is this too much to ask for

god this like. it always feels so small when someone asks what I want from life but I just. want to be surrounded by people I love and do fun things and consume art and eat nice food and work a job I love that doesn’t simultaneously destroy my soul. I don’t want anything big I just want to be allowed exist as a person not just another cog in the capitalism machine

cis man with gynecomastia scars: hi

the smartest transphobes in the world: kys tranny

and people wonder why I say that transphobia is a danger to everyone.

I wish I was fucking joking

but sure "we can always tell" crowd telling a cis man to kill himself because they think he's trans. that totally normal behavior. terfs are totally just normal average members of society who want what's best for everyone. they totally aren't genocidal fascists who want to kill everyone who disagrees with them or anyone they simply don't like.

@every-captain

That's the reality of intersexism! Any bodily traits that can be deemed intersex are deemed a medical condition that needs to be dealt with, rather than a natural human variation.

Sex as a binary system is entirely a social construct just as much as gender is. It's fairly normal for people born with penises to develop breast tissue, just as it's normal for people born with vulvas to grow facial hair. But if we called those things normal human variations, we'd have to change how sex and gender are seen entirely in our society. A lot of people would lose a lot of money and control.

No but seriously as I’ve gotten older I realize more and more that although white gays do face certain levels of oppression they are still white people.....like does that make sense?

Like yes a white lesbian has some form oppression against her but she’s still a white woman..... and the same thing for white gay men and white trans men and women like they’re still white !!!!!!

Like I don’t mean this in a rude way but like if we’re going to be honest about the lgbtq community we should also talk about how the white people in said community oppress poc and it doesn’t change just because they’re in a minority group they’re still white people

And like personally I’ve seen that white lgbtq ppl hate when you bring up that their still white because they’ve separated themselves in their mind as being better but they’re still white!!!

Hello white people should definitely be looking at this and reblogging it lmaooo

i feel like we dont talk enough about how distressing and disturbing memory loss issues are. forgetting what you were talking about halfway through a sentence, putting something down and instantly forgetting where you put it. having to reread one paragraph over and over again because by the time youve moved onto the next sentence you dont remember what the one before it said. always doubting if your memories of things are real, not being able to remember important life events.

its so incredibly scary, it feels like your mind is constantly playing tricks on you and you start to doubt whats real and what isnt.

“i forgot” is treated like a lazy excuse when it’s genuinely such a big issue for so many people.